It has been a while since I sat at
the keyboard to pour out my thoughts. Things have been busy, and I have been
feeling pretty good. I get a slight headache by the end of the day, if I am
pretty tired, but otherwise, I feel pretty good. I told Dr. Tolentino that I
was feeling so good that perhaps they mis-diagnosed my disease. His smiling
response was, “That means that our treatment for you is working.” At any rate,
I do appreciate these good days that God has granted me to spend time with
Margaret and our family. Each of the days we live, each breath we take, each
beat of our hearts is a gift from God. When we are healthy and busy, we often
forget that and take these things for granted.
I have received many books, cards,
prayers, and gifts from people since my first diagnosis. One of those books is
a daily devotional called “Streams in the Desert” which I received from one of
Margaret’s cousins in New York. I do not read it every day, but happened to
read it on September 20th. The reading really struck me that day,
and again, I see the Holy Spirit guiding my life and what I do. Why did I
choose to read this book that day? I truly believe it was divine guidance.
Here
is the reading from September 20th out of “Streams in the Desert” by
L.B. Cowman.
Did I not tell you that if you believed, you could see
the glory of God? (John 11:40)
Mary
and Martha could not understand what their Lord was doing. Each of them had
said to Him, “Lord, if you had been here,
my brother would not have died.” (vv 21, 32). And behind their words we
seem to read their true thoughts: “Lord, we do not understand why you waited so long to come or how you could allow the man you love so
much to die. We do not understand how you
could allow such sorrow and suffering to devastate our lives, when your
presence might have stopped it all. Why didn’t
you come? Now it’s too late, because Lazarus has been dead four days! But Jesus
simply had one great truth in answer to all of this. He said, in essence, “You
may not understand, but I am telling you that if you believe, you will see.”
Abraham could not understand why God
would ask him to sacrifice his son, but he trusted Him. Then he saw the Lord’s glory when the son he
loved was restored to him. Moses could not understand why God would require him to stay forty years in the wilderness,
but he also trusted Him. Then he saw when
God called him to lead Israel from Egyptian bondage.
Joseph could not understand his brothers’ cruelty toward
him, the false testimony of a treacherous woman, or the long years of unjust
imprisonment, but he trusted God and finally saw His glory in it all. And Joseph’s father, Jacob, could not
understand how God’s strange
providence could allow Joseph to be taken from him. Yet later he saw the Lord’s glory when he looked into
the face of his son, who had become the governor for a great king and the
person used to preserve his own life and the lives of an entire nation.
Perhaps there is also something in your life causing you to
question God. Do you find yourself saying, “I do not understand why God allowed my loved one to be
taken. I do not understand why affliction
has been permitted to strike me. I do not understand why the Lord has led me down these twisting paths. I do not
understand why my own plans, which
seemed so good, have been so disappointing. I do not understand why the blessings I so desperately need
are so long in coming.”
Dear friend, you do not have
to understand all God’s ways of dealing with you. He does not expect you to
understand them. You do not expect your
children to understand everything you do – you simply want them to trust you.
And someday you too will see the
glory of God in the things you do not understand. J.H.M.
If
we could push ajar the gates of life,
And
stand within, and all God’s working see,
We
might interpret all this doubt and strife,
And
for each mystery could find a key.
But
not today. Then be content, dear heart;
God’s
plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold.
We
must not tear the close-shut leaves apart –
Time
will someday reveal the blooms of gold.
And
if, through patient toil, we reach the land
Where
tired feet, with sandals loosed, may rest,
When
we shall clearly know and understand,
I
think that we will say, “God knew best.”
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