October 10, 2012

            It has been a good fall for us so far. I have felt pretty good, and have been able to do some traveling with Margaret. The time we have been able to spend together has been great, and we both cherish those times we have had together.

                        John’s O’Gorman High School Soccer Team got second at the state tournament in Aberdeen. That was a cold experience for all of us, but we had a chance to see some great soccer games, and we had a good time. We were home for about 20 hours, and we got back into the car to drive down to Omaha for the long weekend. We saw our favorite two grandchildren, and John visited Creighton University’s campus on Monday. We had a great weekend, and enjoyed the time with Mark, Sara, and their family. Kolbe’s dance video is back to Mark now, so I need to have them post it on this blog so you guys can see the little guy dance. After you watch him for a few moments, you will see where his natural dance talents come from.

                        Next week on Monday I have an MRI of the old pumpkin once again (every three months now). On Tuesday we go into the Prairie Center to start with a blood draw, then a visit with Dr. Tolentino to see how the blood work looks and, to see how the MRI looks – see if I am growing any new tumors or expanding any old ones. If the blood work looks good, I am supposed to get an infusion of Avastin. On Thursday I visit with the nurse practitioner from Dr. Viola’s office to get my driver license renewal letter from them. Then to cap the week, we have a family meeting with Palliative Care on Friday afternoon. Busy medical week.

                        Next Friday afternoon, our family is gathering in Humboldt to help move Jarding Construction from the old shop into a newer and smaller building. It will be a busy weekend, but fun with everybody helping out.

                        I have been having some headaches this last week, which always leaves one with brain cancer anxious as to the cause of those headaches. That continues to be the hard part of this journey – the not being in control and not knowing. That is what Faith is all about, and I guess it is a test of my Faith. I do not think I am ready for the downward spiral in my health yet, but I should probably strap on the seat belt and hang on for the ride. I have too many things to do to get sick, but we will see what God has planned for me and my schedule.

                        Some of the Gifts I have seen these past weeks that stand out are listed below:

1)    Beautiful Black Hills Fall Scenery like you can’t believe - sharing it with the love of my life.

2)    Watching John play soccer – he is the last of the four boys I get to watch in ball games – we have seen a lot of games over the years.

3)    Holding my oldest granddaughter,Jameson, and having her look deep into my eyes – her beautiful eyes darting back and forth looking into my soul - me wondering if she will remember me – I think she will remember deep within her soul. I love that little girl………………

4)    Praying bedside prayers with Kolbe as he goes to bed – he is a pretty sincere little boy- and he says an extra prayer for grandpa, grandma, and great grandpa and grandma each night.

5)    Waking up at 2:30 AM with a headache – Margaret caressing my head to try to make the pain ease up a bit, which it usually does with her touch. Whispering to her that we are kind of getting taken on our time left together, but knowing that the moments we have shared to this point are more precious than many people get to share in a lifetime together.

6)    Sitting quietly in our backyard listening to God’s creation – we don’t get to do that enough in this busy life. God could have made everything gray and black, but he colored the world for you and I to enjoy.

7)    Trying to get a one hour nap in each day, resting in the arms of the Lord.

8)    Reminiscing on a great and gifted life I have been able to live – a great marriage – four wonderful gifts from God in our sons – now three of those sons have found women to make their lives complete – watching John on his first college tour and wondering what God will call him to do in his life’s vocation

9)    I have been blessed in having three separate careers that ran together at the same time. How many people wonder yet what they want to do in their life – I got to be a Carpenter who builds people’s dreams – a Fire Fighter who saves people’s lives, and a Father who passes on life and Faith in God to the next generation of our family. Who could ask for more than that?

Tonight before you go to sleep, thank God for the gifts in your life, and ask Him to help you in each step of your life’s journey.  He is there for each of us, and He has a plan for each of us. It is our job to trust in Him and to follow that plan wherever it takes us. God Bless. 

God Knew Best

            It has been a while since I sat at the keyboard to pour out my thoughts. Things have been busy, and I have been feeling pretty good. I get a slight headache by the end of the day, if I am pretty tired, but otherwise, I feel pretty good. I told Dr. Tolentino that I was feeling so good that perhaps they mis-diagnosed my disease. His smiling response was, “That means that our treatment for you is working.” At any rate, I do appreciate these good days that God has granted me to spend time with Margaret and our family. Each of the days we live, each breath we take, each beat of our hearts is a gift from God. When we are healthy and busy, we often forget that and take these things for granted.

            I have received many books, cards, prayers, and gifts from people since my first diagnosis. One of those books is a daily devotional called “Streams in the Desert” which I received from one of Margaret’s cousins in New York. I do not read it every day, but happened to read it on September 20^th. The reading really struck me that day, and again, I see the Holy Spirit guiding my life and what I do. Why did I choose to read this book that day? I truly believe it was divine guidance.

Here is the reading from September 20^th out of “Streams in the Desert” by L.B. Cowman.

            Did I not tell you that if you believed, you could see the glory of God? (John 11:40)

Mary and Martha could not understand what their Lord was doing. Each of them had said to Him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (vv 21, 32). And behind their words we seem to read their true thoughts: “Lord, we do not understand why you waited so long to come or how you could allow the man you love so much to die. We do not understand how you could allow such sorrow and suffering to devastate our lives, when your presence might have stopped it all. Why didn’t you come? Now it’s too late, because Lazarus has been dead four days! But Jesus simply had one great truth in answer to all of this. He said, in essence, “You may not understand, but I am telling you that if you believe, you will see.”

            Abraham could not understand why God would ask him to sacrifice his son, but he trusted Him. Then he saw the Lord’s glory when the son he loved was restored to him. Moses could not understand why God would require him to stay forty years in the wilderness, but he also trusted Him. Then he saw when God called him to lead Israel from Egyptian bondage.

Joseph could not understand his brothers’ cruelty toward him, the false testimony of a treacherous woman, or the long years of unjust imprisonment, but he trusted God and finally saw His glory in it all. And Joseph’s father, Jacob, could not understand how God’s strange providence could allow Joseph to be taken from him. Yet later he saw the Lord’s glory when he looked into the face of his son, who had become the governor for a great king and the person used to preserve his own life and the lives of an entire nation.

Perhaps there is also something in your life causing you to question God. Do you find yourself saying, “I do not understand why God allowed my loved one to be taken. I do not understand why affliction has been permitted to strike me. I do not understand why the Lord has led me down these twisting paths. I do not understand why my own plans, which seemed so good, have been so disappointing. I do not understand why the blessings I so desperately need are so long in coming.”

Dear friend, you do not have to understand all God’s ways of dealing with you. He does not expect you to understand them. You do not expect your children to understand everything you do – you simply want them to trust you. And someday you too will see the glory of God in the things you do not understand. J.H.M.

 

If we could push ajar the gates of life,

And stand within, and all God’s working see,

We might interpret all this doubt and strife,

And for each mystery could find a key.

 

But not today. Then be content, dear heart;

God’s plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold.

We must not tear the close-shut leaves apart –

Time will someday reveal the blooms of gold.

 

And if, through patient toil, we reach the land

Where tired feet, with sandals loosed, may rest,

When we shall clearly know and understand,

I think that we will say, “God knew best.”

 

           

September 05, 2012

            It is a beautiful and sunny day today. The temperatures are finally dropping to a more normal range, and the days are pleasant once again. Now all we need is some rain. We should enjoy these days, as I assume Old Man Winter will visit us all too soon. Even though we all dislike snow, we need the moisture this year for the fields, rivers, ponds, and streams.

            I had my third treatment of Avastin yesterday. That went well – now they push the infusion through in a thirty minute time period. I have just a slight headache at times, but otherwise no side effects yet. My blood levels have been good, and things are going pretty well. I feel pretty good - sometimes it seems like all of this is just a bad dream. I have another MRI scheduled for early October – that is when we see how things are really going up there in that old cranium area. Good for now though! The doctors tell me to enjoy the now and not to worry about what is to come. That is my focus. I have a few things to do – the main project now is to build three more rocking horses out of oak for future grandchildren. Mark’s family has a horse, but Matt, Tom, and John need one yet. Don’t tell Jameson, but she will get a doll cradle for Christmas as well. So, I have some work to do in the shop. Once those are all done, I could use a few more bird feeders too.

            We found a dead male cardinal in the front yard a few weeks back. I have not seen or heard the cardinals now for a few weeks – they may have moved on to a moister climate area – who knows. Oddly, I heard a cardinal singing in the background of a movie. The movie was “Hope Springs”, which was not the best show I have seen. I don’t even know that I would recommend it to anyone. No six guns, no horses, no chase after bad guys – not much of a show at all. In one scene of the movie I could hear cardinals singing as the couple walked along. Now you tell me, does God show up in some different places when you least expect Him to?

            Tom and Michelle’s wedding went very well. Lots of family and friends, and a great time was had by all. My oldest grandson, Kolbe, did quite a lot of dancing at the wedding dance – he stole the show for the tune “Bust A Move”. He had the whole dance floor of people in a circle around him, and he danced and hammed it up for the entire song. Once we get the video back, I will post it in the Blog so you can see it. He had to get those moves from his mother’s genetics, as the Jarding boys do not bust too many moves.

            Have a great week and enjoy this wonderful weather. Football games are now started, soccer games are going strong, and soon we shall be chasing the wily Ringneck Pheasant as well. Fall is a good time of year. Have a great day, and look for God out there. He is looking for you!

           

 

           

One More Day

              This is an older but poignant song by Diamond Rio. Margaret found this on a friend’s Facebook page, and it now has a whole new meaning to us than it did a lot earlier in our lives together. I used to think this was a neat song with a lot of meaning – now I cannot listen to it without getting tears in my eyes. Margaret has meant everything to me since I met her 32 plus years ago. She is my angel on earth. I know that she will have the tough part of this journey, and I pray to God daily to thank Him for letting me marry her and for His strength for her as this trial moves along.

Doing great today – looking forward to the weekend and to Tom and Michelle’s wedding! It is great to have this “One More Day” too! Make it a great one!



The song is One More Day by Diamond Rio

The poem is The Last Time (author unknown)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UWx-shGM0g&sns=em

Granddaughters

 

Last weekend we went down to Yankton to attend the Baptism of Jameson Clare, our first granddaughter. Father John Rutten, a friend of Mark and Sara’s performed the ceremony at Sacred Heart church in Yankton.

     Things went well, and it was a beautiful ceremony. Now little Jameson is claimed by Christ and baptized into the faith. When Jesus was baptized we are told the heavens opened and a dove came down over Jesus’ head. God’s voice proclaimed, “This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased.”

     I believe that during each baptism, God says those same words – “This is my beloved daughter (or son) in whom I am well pleased.” The baptism washes away the stain of original sin and claims us for Christ.

          I have been thinking a lot about granddaughters this past week. Jameson is currently my favorite one, but I know that with those four sons we will have perhaps up to 6 more yet. The grandparent duties form our side of the family will fall into Margaret’s very capable hands. I will not be here to see them in grade school, to go to their programs at Christmas time, to be at their Confirmations, to see their pictures being all dressed up for the prom, or to watch them walk down the aisle at their weddings. I will be at all of those events, and watching over them closely, but they will not be able to see me there.         

          Margaret and I only have experience raising boys, so this grandpa doesn’t know how to brush hair or tie ribbons. Maybe Jameson can teach me some of that over the next few months. She is at that cute age where she will chatter to you and smile with her whole face when you talk to her.

           I was at the funeral of a retired Fire Captain a few years back, and one of his daughters talked about the “Grandpa Dates” that her dad took her daughters out on. Grandpa told the granddaughters that if any boy treats you with any less respect, courtesy, or kindness than I do, get rid of him! I liked that advice.

          Here are some words of advice for my granddaughters:

1)    Be the best version of yourself that you can be – don’t try to look or act like someone else. God made you special just like you are. There is not another person like you in this whole world. You are special and you were born for a special reason.

2)    Be nice to those people around you. Be kind to others, and help your mother and father with household chores.

3)    Pray to Mary every day – she is the mother of all of us, and she loves us a lot. When you have a big test, a dance recital, a ball game, or any big event, say a Hail Mary – she will help you get through the event.

4)    You have a special gift of your love that makes you special. Cherish that gift and give it to your husband.

5)    Dress nicely as if you were going out on a date with grandpa. Boys will respect you more for being modest than they will for making poor choices.

6)    Know that I will always love each of you and that I am praying for you and watching over you.

7)    God Bless you and keep you in the palm if his hand.

Love,

Grandpa Jarding

August 22, 2012

 

            I have been doing pretty well for the past few weeks. We saw Dr. Tolentino a couple of times in the past month. I have completed all radiation treatments scheduled for now. There will not be more radiation in those same areas already radiated. The old brain can only take so much of those gamma rays. If I grow a new tumor in a different area, more radiation is a possibility.

            I have been started on infusions of Avastin now. We go in once every two weeks for an infusion treatment. The first two went well, so now the third will take only 30 minutes or so. It takes a bit longer because first you go in and have labs drawn, then you see the oncologist to make sure everything is going well, then you are sent down to get the infusion treatment. The two most common side effects of this drug are elevated blood pressure and nose bleeds. I get pretty tired, but if I get in a nap each day for about an hour, I do pretty well. I get a slight headache in the front of my head when I get really tired – not too bad overall. I feel pretty normal right now.

            We will get an MRI of the brain every three months to see how things are going. After that, we decide on any treatment changes needed.

            Margaret has been busy cleaning and getting ready for a September 1^st wedding for Tom and Michelle. I told Johnny that at our house if you sit still you will be painted, dusted, or sent to Goodwill in a bag. We are hosting the pre-nuptial dinner in our back yard, so we are cleaning and greening to beat everything around here.

            I am on my crash two week diet to make sure I can tie a neck tie and button my dress shirt for the wedding.

            All else goes well. I have not seen many cardinals lately, but I still hear them once in a while. I do get to see a few of the little yellow finches that I also enjoy. I am reading a book about John the Baptist, and have one waiting called “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott Hahn. I also got a book from a friend about miracles that do happen that I need to read yet. The more I read, the more I learn about my faith and about God’s great plan for all of us. We waste a lot of our lives worrying about things that are not going to mean so much in the next step of our journey. It takes a terminal illness or a great tragedy for many of us to realize what is important and what is trivial in the grand scheme of things. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and concerns for our family through all of this. We do greatly appreciate all of the love we have been given.

Let’s live each day to its fullest, be the best version of ourselves we can be, and stop to listen to a songbird once in a while!

True Faith - Do I Have It?

True Faith – Do I Have It?

            This week we met again with Dr. Tolentino. My blood work was all good, so we were started on injection treatments of Avastin. I had a ninety minute session getting this first treatment. That went well, so now they push that same amount in over 60 minutes in two weeks. If that goes well, we end up with a thirty minute session every two weeks. We will do a blood draw then see the doctor or a nurse practitioner each session. If all looks okay, I get the juice. The main two side effects are an increase in blood pressure, and possible nose bleeds.  I was going to get into boxing, but with the nose bleed thing, I will back off on that plan.

            I have been feeling great for the past few weeks, and still feel good today. God is good.

            I have started to read a book by FB Meyer called John The Baptist. I have always wondered about John The Baptist. He was 6 months older than Jesus, Jesus’ first cousin, and he was beheaded right at the start of Jesus’ ministry. John had quite a following in his short life, and Jesus said of him that there was no greater man born of woman. Imagine Jesus Christ saying that about you!

            That causes me to want to learn more about John, as there is little in scripture about him. We know that he was born to Zacharias and Elisabeth, who were for all practical purposes, beyond their child bearing years. An angel of the Lord appeared to Zacharias (a Jewish priest) and told him his wife would have a son and that he was to be named John. Zacharias, like many of us would, doubted God’s ability to make that happen, so he was struck deaf and dumb. He had to write things on a tablet to communicate.

            I had read earlier that Elisabeth was perhaps the sister of Anne, the mother of Mary. So Mary would have been Elisabeth’s niece. Mary went to visit Elisabeth and to help her in her pregnancy, since Elisabeth was advanced in years. Mary would have been in the early stages of her pregnancy with Jesus, and Elisabeth was in her sixth month. When Mary came into Elisabeth’s house, Elisabeth felt John leap in her womb, and proclaimed something like – How is it that the mother of my Lord comes to see me? This was truly the Holy Spirit acting within Elisabeth, as she could not have known about Mary’s pregnancy. Remember, no texting, tweeting, or facebook back then. Mary responded with her famous Canticle of Mary – that too had to come through the Holy Spirit.

            Pretty cool stuff to me – these were common poor people whom God chose to use to bring His most noted prophet and His Son into our world! John was sent to announce the coming of his first cousin, Jesus. As we all know, Jesus came to announce the Word of God and to die for each of us and open our way into heaven again, after the fall of mankind through Adam and Eve.

            I am reading the book about John now, and I came across an interesting paragraph about the faith of men.

            This is a paragraph about Zacharias and his struggle with faith – “Month succeeded month, but Zacharias neither heard nor spoke. His friends had to make signs to him, for unbelief has the effect of shutting man out of the enjoyment of life, and hindering his usefulness. How different this time of waiting from the blessedness it brought to his wife’s young relative, who believed the heavenly messenger. He was evidently a good man, well versed in the history of his people. His soul, as we learn from his song, was full of noble pride in the great and glorious past. He could believe that when Abraham and Sarah were past age, a child was born to them, who filled their tent with merry prattle and laughter; but he could not believe that such a blessing could fall to his lot. And is not that the point where our faith staggers still? We can believe in the wonder-working power of God on the distant horizon of the past, or on the equally distant horizon of the future; but that He should have a definite and particular care for our life, that our prayers should touch Him, that He should give us the desire of our heart – this staggers us, and we feel it is too good to be true. “

            That sums me up in a nutshell - I believe that God can do anything for anyone. I believe Jesus and his disciples worked miracles in Jesus’ name. My struggle is two-fold – why would God heal me? -  and if I start to say I am healed, and then am not cured of this disease, am I setting myself up for a failure in my faith. I have tried to just go with – “Thy will be done, and not my will.”

To me, that is what God wants of all of us – to have faith in His plan for each of us, and to know that things happen, both good and bad, for a reason.  I do know that if it is God’s plan, He can physically heal me. The problem is, He does not let us know the plan ahead of time.

So we are back to living each day as a gift from God, loving each other with humility and faith, and moving towards our eternal reward in heaven.

Make it a great day, and have some faith in God! He has faith in us!