Faith and Healing

            Throughout this entire journey that started last August 27^th, I have had people talk to me about miracles happening, God’s healing power, the power of prayer, and having faith in God’s healing power.

            I will never forget the day that the neurosurgeon came into my room in ICU at the hospital to tell us about the biopsy results. He had already told my family members the day of the surgery that he did not like what he had found, but had advised them not to tell me until we had positive results back from the labs. Also, they wanted to keep me calm as long as possible while I recovered from the brain surgery. They did not know at that time if I would have any negative results from the operation, which I did not, other than an itchy scalp at times! That in itself is a miracle! Dr. Puumala came into my room in ICU and explained to me what they had found. He told me I had a Grade 4 Glioblastoma in my brain. He told me it was an old cancer that usually affected males around my age, there was no cure, and that it was an aggressive cancer. Being the smart aleck I am, I asked him if there was a Grade 5, and he said no, this is as aggressive as it gets.

I said, “At least I got the best!”

I remember my son Tom saying, “Go big, or go home!”

We all laughed a bit - probably a nervous laughter, but I remember laughing. Dr. told us if we did not do any further treatment, I probably had 6 months to live. One year was the average, and some go as long as 22 months.  I remember shedding a few tears, but then, almost immediately, I felt a sense of calm and peace from within. I attributed that to God’s grace and His Mother, Mary, helping to take care of me. Those days and nights in the hospital after that, I had a rosary in my hands almost constantly. If I could not sleep, I said a rosary, if no one was in the room with me, I said a rosary. I had such a sense of peace that it is hard to describe it to people. I lay there in bed and thought that this entire illness and prognosis is truly a gift from God, and a part of his larger plan for me. I have blogged about that in the past.

I thought of Jesus and His passion, and thought that I can suffer through this for Him if He suffered through that for all of us. I had a lot of comfort in those thoughts, and still do today. I have been doing pretty well, even though I continue to grow a tumor here and there. I accept that as the way this will all go until it ends my life. I just completed 10 more radiation treatments, and I am feeling pretty good. I start some new chemo on August 2^nd – we will see how that goes! - kind of nervous about that.

I believe all things really do happen to us as a part of God’s plan for us – we are just too busy to pay attention at times. Margaret and I try to attend a Mass somewhere in town every day, as our schedules allow it. Did you know there are about 45 opportunities for a daily Mass somewhere in Sioux Falls each week? Yesterday, I had just gone out to my garage to meet the crew from Rescue 10 who had stopped over to visit with me. My cell phone rang, and it was Father Joe Vogel. He asked if I knew there was a Mass of Healing to be held that evening at St. Katherine Drexel at 6:30. He said there would be Anointing of the Sick offered as well as an opportunity to pray with others after the Mass, and he wanted us to attend if it worked for us. As God’s plan worked out, we had not attended Mass yet that day, and I told Father we would plan to be there. (It is nice being retired and having that flexibility)

As we entered the church that night, Father Joe came up to me and told me I should pray with Father John Rasmussen after Mass. We went through the Mass, I received the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick, and the Mass came to an end. There was then an opportunity to go to confession, to pray with prayer couples, or to pray with Father Rasmussen. I whispered to Margaret that I wanted to pray with Father John, and she stayed in the pew praying.  I waited as Father John prayed with about 6 people in front of me. You would sit on a chair facing him, and he would hold your hands and visit with you, then pray over you. When my turn came to visit with Father John, I told him my name and that I had GBM in the right side of my brain. He said, “I have heard about you, and I have wanted to meet with you to pray with you!”

I was somewhat surprised about that, but our visit went on. I told Father that I had been praying for some sort of healing, but realizing that there are different types of healing – physical, spiritual, and emotional healing. I had a lot of inner peace, but I really did not expect a miracle to occur in which I am completely physically healed.  Father John said, “Why not! Jesus can do anything – why do you think He won’t heal you!”

I responded that I wanted to take the stance that God’s will be done, and I did not want to ask for something that probably would not happen. Well to make a short story long, or vice versa, Father laid his hands on my head and prayed for the healing power of Jesus to physically heal me. It was a very grace-filled and calming sensation that I felt. Father asked me to pray frequently today and to thank Jesus for healing me. I am doing that.

At Mass this morning, I was thinking about healing and faith, which leads me to the purpose of this blog. In scripture, over and over, Jesus tells people that they are healed because of their belief – “your faith has healed you” – “nowhere in Galilee have I seen faith like this, your daughter lives” – the woman who touched the tassel of His cloak, was healed and Jesus told her that her faith had healed her.

Maybe I do not have strong enough faith to believe that Jesus can really heal my illness! I am going to pray more about that and work on that faith. I will accept God’s plan for me with a loving heart, but I am going to pray for that healing and pray for a stronger faith. Let the tumors fall where they may!

Make it a great day, and have some faith in Jesus!