July 5th

I had an MRI of my brain test done today. I have had mixed feelings about this test. Part of me wants to know how things are going in there, and part of me doesn’t want to know. I guess God’s will be done, I will find out tomorrow at Dr. Tolentino’s office. I have experienced a feeling of something “tickling” inside my right ear for the past few weeks. I assumed it may have something to do with the radiation treatments, and it may have to do with the tumor growth. Just a little strange tickle that I can’t explain.

The test itself went fairly smoothly for being put inside a rather tight tube with ear plugs and little ear pillows over your ears, given a small bulb to push if you want out of the machine, and then slid into the tight fitting tube with a lot of loud noise for about a 30 minute test. No pain, just takes a little mental strength and a lot of prayers to ride it out.

I have been feeling fairly good, but my eating has dropped off – not a bad thing given my weight gain on the steroids. I am down about 12 pounds now, and need to drop another 12 or so to get back to where I was before all of this started. Nothing tastes real good, and I have no desire for sweets any longer. Sweets do not taste right to me – they even leave a bad after-taste in my mouth at times. My stomach is rather churned up each morning after I take my handful of vitamins, pills, and seizure meds. I guess I am adjusting to it – I hope there are no pills in heaven, as I am tired of them in this life.

This morning as I was reading today’s scriptures, it started to rain really hard. There were few clouds, and it had rained a small amount earlier, but this was a nice little downpour. I was rather amazed, as the weather guys did not think we would get any rain, and the clouds did not look like we would get rain. We really need rain, so any we get is a blessing. I was reading about how God gave manna to the Israelites in the desert when they were hungry. They had been complaining that God could not provide for them a banquet table of food in the desert. Low and behold, bread rained down from heaven. I thought of that as I watched it rain while I prayed. God can do anything He wants at any time and often when we least expect it. All things are possible with God – we just have to keep reminding ourselves of that. God gives us what we need when we need it if it is a part of His plan for our lives. The problem is often that we want to control our lives, and we do not – God does. It sometimes takes a little something to remind us about that – maybe a little cloud burst, a meal of bread in the desert, or an unplanned illness.

Have faith in God, for He has a plan for each of us. Margaret and I saw a red cardinal on the tree branch this morning too! God is good!