The Sparrow

Looking back at this story now, in 2012, I realize that this was actually a major turning point in my Faith journey in life. From that point on in 2006, I started to put more trust into God’s hands.

          I will never see a sparrow again in my life and not remember a little message I got from God one cold windy October day in 2006.

          That fall was a busy time for our family. Our oldest son was working with my brother and I in our family-owned construction business. Our second oldest son was attending St. John Vianney Seminary in St. Paul. Son number three was a senior in High School and a varsity football player. Our youngest son was in fifth grade, busy in soccer and starting up games in YMCA ABL Basketball.

          Our senior had been a standout football player since junior high, and he had experienced much success in running the football. He seemed like a natural at it, and he loved the game. What’s more, we all enjoyed being his biggest fans and his cheering section. He had been on the varsity team for the previous two years. That team had been undefeated and had won two state championships in a row. Our son worked hard all summer prior to his senior year, getting ready for what we had hoped would be his biggest and best year yet in football.

          I was a Battalion Chief for Sioux Falls Fire Rescue, and was starting the final 5 years of my career with them. I had been working 24 hour shifts in the fire service for 22 years, and was starting to look forward to being home every night and not having to miss ball games, school concerts, school plays, and suppers at night with my family. Our department had just gone through a change in Fire Chiefs. The Chief had been a true leader and a close friend of mine. It was difficult to see him leave.

          My brother and I were going on our 31^st year in a family-owned construction business. The construction business had always been feast or famine. Either you were way behind, or you didn’t know what you would be doing next month. It took a lot of trust in God to keep your faith. Rising fuel costs and the cost of employee benefit packages were starting to take their toll on our bottom line. We had stubbornly kept our own carpenters for all of those years, doing things our own way and not going the way of subcontracting out all of our labor. We enjoyed building fine houses and working with our customers, so we always found a way, with a lot of faith in the Dear Lord and each other, to keep things going. The market was tight. The spec homes stayed unsold this year, causing the interest expense on those homes to take a huge bite from our already tight budget. The first half of the year was looking better than it had in the previous year. We weren’t buried with work, but we had enough to carry us through until January. As we had always done, we started to be concerned about what we would have to build in the spring. The leads were much scarcer, and the housing market seemed to be pretty quiet. How would we pay the bills come January?

          During the second football game of the season, our senior player broke his left leg, ending his high school football career. He rehabbed and stayed with the team, but he tried to play in one of the playoff games, and ended up rupturing the sac that surrounds his kidney. Now he was truly done with football for the season.

         

          Our son in the Seminary had come to the conclusion that he was not meant for the priesthood, and had decided to try a different school. It was painful to watch him try to make the proper career choice, but it was his journey, so we prayed for his guidance.

          Now I want you to know that we had been one praying family that summer and fall. My wife and I went to adoration of the Holy Eucharist for one hour a week in our church’s chapel. We had been praying a rosary, a Memorarium, and a Chaplet of Divine Mercy together as a family almost every day since late July. I tried to pray a rosary a day myself. I asked for strength and faith in God’s plan for us. I asked for my son to have a good football season and to not get hurt. I asked for my other son to receive the Holy Spirit’s guidance in his vocational search. I asked for our spec projects to sell. I even bought a statue of St. Joseph, buried it on the spec house property, and said the prayers to St. Joseph to help us sell the house. I prayed hard.

          As each week went by, the football games got harder and harder to watch. We sat in the stands and watched our son limping on the side lines and not being a part of the team any more. The first game after his injury he was asked to lead the team prayer of the Our Father after the game. That was pretty special for us to witness. The next game he stayed out on the fringes more, and so his participation as a team leader seemed to drop off. He came home one night and told his mother that he just didn’t even feel like a part of the team any more.

          Everywhere I looked it seemed that God had ignored our prayers. It seemed like he wasn’t listening anymore. I had been raised in a Roman Catholic household and was the third child of seven. My parents had the faith that the pioneers must have had. We went to church every Sunday as a family. We went to Catholic School until it was closed due to the high cost of operating a school in a small town parish. I had a sister who was born with Cerebral Palsy. She could not walk, she could not talk, and she had to struggle to get her arms and legs to do anything that she wanted them to do. We grew up with a disabled child in our family. My parents taught us, through their actions and love, that we were a family and we coped with what God gave us with faith, love, and understanding.

          Six weeks after our senior broke his leg, our youngest son was getting ready to go to school, he came back into the house and told me that there was an injured bird on the driveway. I went outside to see the bird and kept our schnauzer away from the bird. A sparrow lay on its side with its eyes open and taking shallow breaths. It had apparently flown into the garage wall and fell there. There was nothing we could do for the bird, so we let it lay there. I remarked to my son, “You know that God knows that bird fell there.” I did not think much more about the bird and went into the house.

          That night I woke up at 2:00 AM and could not get back to sleep. I was worried about our senior and his football games, our second son and his vocational search, and the construction economy.

          I left the bedroom and went out to watch TV for a while. When I went back to bed, I slept for about an hour before having to get up to face the day. It was a Friday, and our youngest son’s Catholic School has school Mass at 08:15 AM each Friday. I try to attend those Masses as often as my schedule allows. As I set the trash out that morning, I picked up the now dead sparrow and put it into the trash bin.

          I sat in the back row at the School Mass that morning and mused about my feelings and my life. As Father read the gospel that morning, I listened intently. The reading was from Luke 12:6-7 Jesus was telling his disciples, “Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins? Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows.”

          The tears started swelling in my eyes as I sat there and realized that God remembers me! He knows what I am going through, and he has not forgotten me! He sent a sparrow to die on my driveway to tell me that He knows I am here and He knows of my prayers and my needs. It felt like a ton of bricks just lifted off of my shoulders! I felt better instantly. God loves me and He knows I am here. He knows I struggle with things, but it will be okay, because He knows I am here.

          I thought about that sparrow a lot that day. It lived its life not knowing what a special job it had. It needed to die on my driveway so it could be a message to me from a loving God! God has it all figured out, even if things do not happen the way we think they should. It doesn’t matter if our business is doing great or struggling through hard times. God knows about it and He still loves us! It doesn’t matter if our son knows his vocation in life right now. God knows our son’s vocation, and He will lovingly guide him to it! It doesn’t matter that our son missed most of his senior year in football. God knows his leg was broken and our plans weren’t necessarily God’s plans! We don’t need to win another State Football Championship to have God love us. He loves us either way!

          That day I made an appointment with a priest, visited with him, and made a good confession. As I drove to another appointment later that day, the sun seemed brighter, the South Dakota autumn fields seemed more beautiful, and things were looking great. My cell phone rang. It was a person calling about setting up an appointment to make plans for building a new house.

          As I drove along, I saw a flock of sparrows flying over a newly harvested soybean field……………………………

          One of my favorite songs now is His Eye Is On The Sparrow.