And So It Really Begins

My last blog article was rather brief, written from the hospital room, and written, I now better understand, under the influence of a strong dose of medicine to help me from having seizures.
I reread that “Thy Will Be Done” piece, and decided I could not end all of this on that note. It sounds like I am just throwing in the towel on this journey, which I am not yet.

Medically speaking, yes, I am throwing in the towel. The towel is in the team laundry basket on the way to the cleaners. The wonderful staff at Avera’s Prairie Center have done all that they can now do to slow or stop the growth of this cancer in my brain. There is no sense in spending more time, money, resources, and effort in trying to get ahead of my cancer, as it is doing what it is supposed to do. This type of brain cancer is an old, very aggressive type that just takes off and grows. Doctors know what works for a while in some patients, but the end result is just what is happening, the tumors grow, the brain cannot contain the pressures, the patient starts to show neurological (seizures) symptoms, and the tumor eventually will kill the patient. So, physiologically speaking, we have quit fighting the disease and are just going to make the rest of this journey as comfortable as possible as we can for me and for my family. But now is when the real journey begins.

You see, up to this point it was just lip service, but now I get to walk the walk. Now is when true Faith in God’s Plan truly begins. Now I can’t do all of things I was able to do before. Now I have to rely on others to “wash my feet” as Jesus did for His disciples. (That analogy was given to me by one of the wonderful Home Hospice nurses). It is hard now to have to watch Margaret and my family become my caregivers. Now is when I have to trust in God that all of this will end well according to His plan. Now is when I have to use that Faith in God, that Hope in Heaven, and that knowledge that His love is there for me and for all of us.

Now I get to use that wooden cane I made from the branch of one of our apple trees this summer. Now I need to steady myself when I walk, as the medicine to prevent seizures could put a young mule down (at least they seem that strong). When I walk it seems like I am wading in about two feet of water at times. I will not be driving any longer (luckily for most of you).

Will I have enough time and ability left to build a couple of more projects, or will this cancer take away those skills quicker than I am ready for it to? This is what faith and trust in God is all about.

I had told God last year that if I had one more good Christmas here on earth, I would not mind spending Easter in Heaven, and He may have heard my prayer. We had a fantastic year – I made it a point to take in everything that I could, the beauty of the autumn leaves, the summertime breezes, the foliage we had when the leaves turned, some great shooting out at Hunter’s Pointe, one of the best pheasant hunts I have ever been on, a great deer hunt, some wonderful family times all year, a beautiful wedding for Tom and Michelle, Mom’s 80th birthday, and many great family events. We had the best Christmas ever, and now I am ready to follow His will. I do have one more wedding to get to in April if God wills it, for Matt and Jen, but then, I am ready to let her ride.

I have had a life that goes beyond description for blessings. I got to work in the building industry with my family for over 37 years, helping to build people’s dreams and getting to do what I loved to do. Then, I even got to be a fire fighter for 26 plus years, a job which I loved dearly as well.

I could not have asked for a better family to be raised in, a better set of parents, a better faith life, better brothers and sisters, or nieces and nephews. In July of 1980, I married Mary Margaret Callaghan, who has forever changed me. We have had a dream life together and raised the most wonderful family anyone could have imagined. I know that all of you will be with me in heaven again someday. I want each of my children and grandchildren to know that I will pray for each of you each day and I will be with you.

When you get to heaven, I will be the guy sweeping up just inside the gate. “I told Margaret I would save a place for her on the bench there.”

Jimmy